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Since Animal has been bothering me for months to revive this blog, I figured that this could be her birthday present!  Nice, huh?!  However, I would be lying if I claimed that she was the sole reason for ending my blogging hiatus.  The other reason is that NaNoWriMo starts in just 2 short weeks and posting here will warm-up my writing muscles! 🙂  But I suppose I should say a little something about the Birthday Girl… I’ll try to make it something nice.

Happy Birthday!

Oh, Animal!  Thank you for providing me with 2 decades of amusement!  :::Sigh:::  I cannot even quantify the amount of laughter and joy which you have given me!  From that time when JewJew made you eat grass… to that time that you became a literal chickenbutt… to that time when you climbed up the bookshelf and then it tipped over on you, burying you in books and toys… to that time when your hotdog jumped in the air and made you break that plate… to the time when the Christmas tree fell on you… to that time when you were drinking beer with that guy in the dining room at like 2:00 in the afternoon… Goodness.  I don’t even know what I did to deserve such a bundle of amusement!  I almost feel compelled to join AF on his next church retreat so that I can thank the Lord for such a blessing.

I guess what I am trying to say is, I hope that you live to amuse me for many many many more decades! 😀

The last few nights have been horribly restless… Thanks to a certain bedmate. >:| Ordinarily, the sleepless nights which result from sharing my bed with someone are incredibly gratifying experiences. However, this has never been the case when the bedmate in question has been Animal. To give you an idea of how talented she is at sleeping, let me relay an anecdote to you.

Many moons ago, Animal and I shared a black metal Ikea bunk bed. She used to sleep on the top. The top bunk had a series of rather high guard rails, perhaps a foot or so (something like this). One night, a terrible crash woke me up. After glancing around the room and seeing nothing unusual, I deduced that the noise had come from outside. The next morning, I got up and peeked at the top bunk to see if Animal was still asleep. She was gone. This was odd, because I usually wake up eons before her (and most other people). I went downstairs. Still no Animal. Later that morning, I returned to our room in search of a lost book. Imagine my surprise when I peered underneath the bed to find, not my book, but my sister… This girl had rolled over the guard rail… fallen on the floor… been completely unperturbed… and then rolled underneath the bed and continued to sleep…

Due to some interesting circumstances, Animal and I found ourselves as roomies again for the weekend. Just thinking about it makes me tired (You did no help either, Ju!). My door frame is still broken from her last encounter with my domain. This time she also broke my glasses and managed to toss and turn to such a degree that my sheets are now half off the bed. She also hit me in the face several times. I am pretty sure that, had we been a married couple, I could have had her arrested for assault. After all of that, she was still talking about how we should move in together (and how she should not have to pay any rent). Black. At least she is still thoughtful enough to “cuh-caw” at me. :/

Speaking of black people, I owe an apology to a really cute white guy with Pennsylvania license plates. He just happened to be next to me at a red light on Friday at the 70 & 73 intersection in Marlton. I had just had a furniture-buying misadventure, and then some PI cut me off on 73, and some other stuff. So we’re at the light and I had the windows down. Evidently, so did the dude next to me… but I did not realize that at the time. It had just been a really long day… and then the radio thing… And I freaked out and yelled (I yell really loud), “WHITE PEOPLE!!!!” out of nowhere. I saw that poor boy jump out of his skin via my peripheral vision. If you, by some odd chance, happen to be reading this, I am so sorry for needlessly scaring the cr@p out of you and generalizing your people. Well, partially sorry for the generalization anyhow. And I think you are WAY cute! Email me. ;D  Oh! And John from Target… I’ll totally be back Friday night… ;D  Or beforehand if you call me… ;D  Holler.

If you happened to see a cute black girl happily stumbling around Philly last week… falling out of trolleys, looking feverish/drugged-up, reading the paper upside-down, bursting out in sporadic laughter, napping on a bench outside of the Annenberg Center, or otherwise being shady… It was probably me. Now that I have recovered from the influenza virus (thanks, Abbie! :p), I have returned to you.

Thanks for the crazy Easter times, you crazies! Even though I was passed out by about 6:00 PM… Stewped virus. >:| I liked how all of the old people got all into playing Rock Band, and that they were equally as puzzled by the music selection. They were all like, “Wow! This game is great! … But… could you kids play a song that we actually know?” As much as I would have liked to, I had to say “No can do, Pops! The n*gro version isn’t out yet.”

Speaking of the parents, I need all of you to pray really hard for them. I mean REALLY hard. My parents have not been on Ghanaian soil together since we left it 22 years ago. They are both wonderful, hard-working people and have been back separately 3 or 4 times. But, due to the fact that they are poor and have 50 gazillion children, they have never been back together. They have been planning forever to finally go this May, but the economy sucks so bad that they have been rethinking this plan. PLEASE do not let them rethink this plan! Pray that they win the lottery! Pray that Oprah reads this and gives them an all-expense paid trip! Pray that one of them finds a golden ticket in a chocolate bar! Just pray… That somehow… They end up together… In the motherland. Next month.

Because I have got to get those two out of my house.

Dear Jesus, Please do not smite me. Again. You know that I love them and all that jazz. And doesn’t absence make the heart grow fonder? And don’t they deserve a vacation? Together? Without their gaggle? I will even throw them a Going Away AND a Welcome Back Party! Please. S’il vous plaît. Por favor. Mepa wo kyɛw. See? I even spoke Twi. That is how bad they have just got to go.

For those of you thinking, “This girl is going to h*ll,” did you know that my Mommy first left me at home alone with the 2 little sibs when I was in kindergarten? :/ She told me one day, “Yah. I felt kind of bad at first. But I only left you three for about an hour! And when I came back, you were all fine. So then I started leaving you with them for longer. And when you were 10, I left you at home with all 3 of the little kids. I would come home and you would have already fed them and changed the baby’s diaper. You were really good.” … Thanks? Where were my older sibs??? Huh?? Where were you, PS and OBM???? You better have been in school… Uselesses.

Quote of the Week: “So then the bus turns into a boat?” … … … …