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Since Animal has been bothering me for months to revive this blog, I figured that this could be her birthday present!  Nice, huh?!  However, I would be lying if I claimed that she was the sole reason for ending my blogging hiatus.  The other reason is that NaNoWriMo starts in just 2 short weeks and posting here will warm-up my writing muscles! 🙂  But I suppose I should say a little something about the Birthday Girl… I’ll try to make it something nice.

Happy Birthday!

Oh, Animal!  Thank you for providing me with 2 decades of amusement!  :::Sigh:::  I cannot even quantify the amount of laughter and joy which you have given me!  From that time when JewJew made you eat grass… to that time that you became a literal chickenbutt… to that time when you climbed up the bookshelf and then it tipped over on you, burying you in books and toys… to that time when your hotdog jumped in the air and made you break that plate… to the time when the Christmas tree fell on you… to that time when you were drinking beer with that guy in the dining room at like 2:00 in the afternoon… Goodness.  I don’t even know what I did to deserve such a bundle of amusement!  I almost feel compelled to join AF on his next church retreat so that I can thank the Lord for such a blessing.

I guess what I am trying to say is, I hope that you live to amuse me for many many many more decades! 😀


Dear Baby,

I cannot believe that you have already been alive for a year.  Thank goodness that you have outgrown your not-so-cute-alien-looking phase.  You could still use a tan, but at least you are not ugly.  Personally, I am impressed that you are even still alive. Between your insane mother, your questionable grandmother, and the Mike’s Hard Pomegranate Lemonade…  Well, let’s just say that you have already proven yourself to be a trooper.  Please tell your mother to stop buying strange hats for you.  And tell your uncle to fix his hair.  Anywho, here’s to you! 

Votre Tante






Dear Baby,

Today is your birthday, and you look kind of weird. Hopefully, you will grow into it. I am already at work trying to obtain an OBC (Official Black Card) for you, because you resemble a Spaniard or a Sicilian. Or Binky. Your Uncle Fred resembled a Chinese man when he was born. He had to carry around his OBC for awhile, but no longer. So don’t worry about that. In fact, don’t worry about anything (other than your Mom being crazy), because we will take care of you. At least until you are 3. That is when African kids start hunting their own food. We will show you how though. Bienvenue. Je t’aime!

Votre Tante

Bebe is Born

Hope You All Had a Happy/Merry/Solemn/Sacred/Special. . .
Diwali, Hanukkah, Bodhi Day, Yule, Christmas, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, Yalda, Ghambar Maidyarem, and/or Birthday! I did! :]

A few days before Christmas, Kwasi had started his usual present count:

Kwasi: I have five presents so far!

Mom: How many do I have?

Kwasi: Four.

Mom: Wow! What did I do to deserve so many presents this year??

Kwasi: I don’t know. Personally, I thought you were worse this year than last.

Mom: (glares at him)

Me: (avoids eye contact, while laughing a lot. on the inside.)

This is one of many many entertaining holiday moments. I could probably write a short story about the last 2 weeks. At least a sitcom pilot. But I won’t. I will say thank you for all of the laughter and presents though. :] From your burnt shrimp ($7.50! Hahaha! You lost!) to crochet book (I knit… I do not even own a crochet hook…) to free hug offers in Philly (a missed opportunity) to a [somewhat] exciting New Year’s Eve to your pathetic Facebook stories to numerous other misadventures to the Wii wars. Yah! I did not stutter! We got a WII! Yah! Don’t be jelly. AND I got my camera! YahYah! A super thank you to all of you who came to visit the birthday girl from far away lands! I WILL return the trip! Sometime! For real! Yah!

In the meantime, here’s to good health of body and mind, a great wealth of hilarity and love, and many an 08 escapade with all of you! >:D Y’all better BRING IT this year! So you can keep up with me. >:D Yah, I said it. Lobu! Happy New Year’s!