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And it’s Picnic Time at Eureka’s Castle! As swimsuit season approaches, I have been very busy. Stuffing my face. In short, with everything. :] While the rest of the country has been spending hours at the gym lifting weights and getting ready for Spring and whatnot, I have been spending time lifting brownies into my mouth.  And Chick-fil-A sandwiches. And meatballs (Hey, remember how they used to call Serena “Meatball Head?!”)

Anyway, so I started thinking about all of the food items which I have consumed (on my own and in their entirety) within a 12-hour period…  This includes: A box of Cheez-Its, A box of fruit snacks, A pack of Twizzlers Pull & Peel, A box of Wheat Thins, 12.4 lbs. of fufu, Various bags of assorted chips, Various boxes/packs of cookies, Half of a large pizza, Various boxes of assorted cereals, A loaf of bread, 5 packets of Burger peanuts, 1/2 lb. of bacon, A bag of Pirate’s booty, A box of Teddy Grahams, A box of Scooby Snacks, A bag of Gummy Bears, A bag of Gummy Worms, Assorted bags of Gummy Creatures… I am sure that I am missing a few hundred more… But you get the point. 🙂

One would probably assume that I weigh around 9,000 lbs.  One would then be quite astonished when one met me.  One could then attribute my svelteness to witchcraft.  I’m not really quite sure how to explain it myself.  Perhaps it is due to the copious amounts of green tea which I drink.  Or to some of my… hmm… extra-curricular activities… like… umm… karate… yah… 😉

Moving on.  Some of you may recall that I was on a quest last summer to bring back the Banana Clip.  Only, I could not find a store which carried Banana Clips, so it did not really work out.  I was still crawling around in a diaper, eating spiders in Ghana when the Banana Clip was in fashion, so I missed my chance.  You will be happy to know that I finally secured not 1, but THREE Banna Clips this weekend.  I suggests that you all go out and find some for yourselves before my quest to make them the IT item of the summer ensues.  You’re Welcome. Don’t be surprised if you see Blair Waldorf wearing one later this year.  All because of me.  🙂

Thank goodness for the WordPress IPT app.

My favorite geneticist, Dr. James Watson, is back to his shenanigans.  I think that he should try out for the next season of The Real World.  You know, Dr. Watson, at first I thought that some of your tirades were actually entertaining… like when you suggested that there was some mysterious link between sexual urges and sunlight exposure, and then proceeded to claim that this was the cause for the existence of “Latin Lovers.”  I am pretty sure that these boys would disagree with you, but your claim still made me chuckle.  Yah, I said “chuckle.”  And then there was your proclamation about thin people being more ambitious than overweight people.  And then you had the nerve to make comments about the physical appearance of Dr. Rosalind Franklin… whom a) FYI, Looked better than you any day of the week and b) you more or less stole data from and claimed the Nobel Prize for the work which she predominantly did… hmm…  classy.

And when I thought that it was not possible to get anymore distasteful, you tell the world that black people are intellectually inferior to white people.  Blown.  Away.  I wish your better half, Dr. Crick (I think Dr. Wilkins was shady too >:[), were still alive to keep you in check.  Or at least to tell you when to keep silent.  And after all of this, you come back with your attention-seeking comments again???  This time slamming high school teachers???  We all know that the educational systems has its problems, but what was the last high school science class that you ever taught??

This dude got a Nobel Prize!!  A NOBEL PRIZE!  Is George Bush going to get one next? :/  This makes me so upset that I cannot even discuss it further.  On a happier note, congratulations to the winners of this year’s Intel STS (which SciAm is referring to as “The Baby Nobels,” which I think is cute!)!  A lot of those projects were really cool and advanced.  And thank you to all of the high school teachers out there doing great things and inspiring others to be great; like Nick Ehling and Nodar Jagodnishili, who led the Fels school to win the Pennsylvania chess title!  Susan Polgar even mentions it in her blog.  I am by no means anywhere close to being a serious chess player, but I have been amazed by the Polgar sisters since I was little and I think it is awesome that one of them would recognize the accomplishments of a small inner-city school in Philadelphia.

I have been waiting for months for this show! Although, I think that I prefer the British version (Ladette to Lady).  I was so sad when L2L ended.  I only got to see season 3.  If anyone can find the first 2 seasons for me, I promise to reward you handsomely!!

Anyhow, the show is produced by Donald Trump (hence Tara Conner as the host) and it was fairly entertaining.  These girls are crazy!!  I think that they should lock Chris Brown up in a room with them.  Yah.  Let’s see him beat on some girls then.  They would kill that fool in about 2.34 seconds.  Especially Margie.  That girl is scary… and it was funny when Headmistress Harbord and Mrs. Schrager told her that everyone thought so. 

Some of you may be thinking that I am kind of sad for watching this show in the first place (and perhaps you are right).  And I am totally blaming the gaming industry for this one!  After beating Build-a-Lot in… hmm… a day…  I had the following thoughts: Why the freak am I playing Build-a-Lot and what happened to all of the good games?!?!?!  I mean, no offense to Hipsoft.  They are good at what they do; they produce some decent strategy games.  

But where is everyone else??  What happened to those games which blew you away??  If one does not come out soon, I may have to go dig out Wolfenstein 3D or Myst and my freakin Tandy computer. >:|  I cannot think of any game which has really captivated me lately… Okay, Fable II, Assassin’s Creed, and Little Big Planet are really nice.  And Professor Layton looks good, but I have not tried it yet.  But what I wouldn’t do for another Perfect Dark, Baldur’s Gate II, or even Syberia… 😦  Any recommendations?  Maybe I will get this 9-year old kid to write me some gaming gold.

I know that I am a little late for a post such as this, but better late than never.  I wrote a post about the inauguration of Barack Obama, but then I already had an ideal post in my inbox.  Thus, I bring you an email that my Mommy sent to her children on that historic day:

Hello people, 

I just came back from watching the Obama speech, and for the first time since I came into this country,.I feel like it is all worth it. 

Life here for immigrants is not easy. Anywhere we go, on the job, to the store, even in schools, we’re treated differently. They talk about equal opportunity, but for the first generation immigrants it is not true. Over the years your dad and I has agonized about the what ifs….the what could have been. 

And today, watching that face up there, my belief was reaffirmed….the conviction that for the four of you, things will be different. There is no limit to what you can be….and where you could be. America is open to the likes of us….You may have to work twice as hard as your white counterparts but your dreams are still attainable. 

I just want to take this time to remind you that you guys are a part of this nation so make good use of the prospects out there. Have a vision and work hard towards it.   

We’ve always talked about being all you can be. It is not true for your dad and me. But for you guys, there is no limit to what can be achieved. With life and good health, there should be no excuses!!  Make an impact in this world. To make a difference that counts, you’ll have to work hard to achieve your life’s goals. Remember, time waits for no one…so make good use of the time you have now….when you are older, things gets more complicated. Don’t wait till your old age and live with regrets. 

Remember to thank God everyday for a brand new day and use it wisely: and pray for wisdom to make the right decisions….the right choices. 

If there is one thing that takes you nowhere, it is mediocrity. Decide on what to do, and do it to the best of your God-given ability. Strive for excellence. 

We love you guys so much and want you to have the best of both worlds. 

Obama has given us HOPE…..but HOPE without WORKS is nothing! 

You can do it….it is not just a slogan. You can make it happen. You are very smart and intelligent individuals. Make exceptional use of God’s gifts to you. 

God Bless 

Love, 

Mom

Another quick, but important post! Princess Sheela’s Maharaja Uncle has been nominated for the CNN-IBN Indian of the Year Award. Please go vote for him! His name is Baba Kalyani and he is in the Business category. Go vote! The sooner he wins, the sooner he will invite me to his palace!  Once you put in your information, it will take you through the poll for Politics and Sports first (I don’t care who you vote for in these categories >:]), and then Business.  You will need to complete the poll by voting for the categories after the Business category (I do not care who you vote for here either>:]).  Please go through all of them to ensure that your vote will actually be counted.  So go vote NOW!! HERE!! Thank You!!  Why are you still here?!  Go vote!  Voting ends at midnight on January 22nd, so hurry up! :p  Merci. 🙂

I did not think that he could win.  Not as first.  I thought that there existed just one too many closet racists for it to happen.  I thought that the Old [White] Boys’ Club/Network was simply too powerful.  After the re-election of George Bush, I thought that Americans did not really want the change which they loudly demanded from every available hilltop.

After throwing our economy into the depths of Mordor, with our greed, our consumer lust for homes and products which we could not afford (but bought anyway… on credit), our reluctance to talk about our individual financial situations (until they all so unsurprisingly converged into a nationwide crisis), and our all too eager attempts to point the finger and assign blame, while taking no responsibility for our own actions… Frankly, after all of that, I was not sure that our country deserved much.  Reap what you sow.

And then we elected Barack Obama.  And, of course, I was thrilled.  People cried thousands of joyful tears.  Worldwide, nations rejoiced.  Sarah Palin returned to whence she came.  It truly seemed as if truth and hope had won.  Justice dispensed.  “We’ve come so far!” they said.  We’ve come “so far.”

Last Friday, my Dad had to go to the ER for the second time this autumn.  He is not one to cry, or even admit to physical pain.  But something so strong came over him as he waited for the train to go to work, that he got back in his car and drove to the ER.  By the time he got there he was in such pain and so disoriented that he could not even get out of the car.  A Caucasian woman was walking through the parking lot and he called out to her.  My Father.  The man who would do anything for anyone.  Has done so much for so many.  Wearing a suit and doubled over in his seat, called to the woman.  “Excuse me?  Please!  If you could help me out of the car, or get some help from inside, Miss?”  And the woman glanced at my father, a glance so brief that the only feature she could possibly register was his brown skin.  And said, “I’m running late for a meeting.”  And quickly walked away.

I can only imagine the look on my Dad’s face.  Talk about adding insult to injury.  As he relayed the story to me later that evening, I was so nauseated.  So infuriated.  I could not speak.  When I had finally digested what had happened, my first thought was that this woman never ever ever ever crosses my path while I am with my Father.  If he identified her… God help me.  God help her.  Because I do not know what I would do.  But I am pretty sure I would end up in jail.  And it would totally be worth it.

So when these people, who are usually not part of a racial minority (aka- PIs), tell me about how far we have come.  I give a polite half-nod and half-smile.  It is very difficult to explain racism, even the more blatant types, to people who have been fortunate enough to not ever have it in their face.  Who have never witnessed racism when it was a matter of life and death.  Who have never experienced the patronizing grins.  The disregarding looks.  The all too regarding looks.

I am unstewped enough to realize that President Obama will not be a panacea to our nation’s ills.  Political, economical, racial, or otherwise.  And I realize that we have come far.  But how far is “so far?”  Evidently, not quite as far as we would like to keep on believing.  Ignorance is bliss.  I don’t think that I will keep believing the hype.  The pleasantries.  The lies.  But I’ll keep hoping.

NaNoWriMo Word Count: (5,000/50,000)

I had my first experience with Boltbus this weekend; we went up to NYC for a birthday party.  I was pretty impressed!  The buses were new, clean, quiet, and offered free wi-fi.  That last bit was essential, since about 80% of the passengers were college students and other 20-somethings with laptops and smartphones.  It was a pleasant ride and I even made a new friend!  Although, it was not quite as amusing as our Greyhound trip, Sheelu!! Hahaha!!  You so should have asked that girl for her number!  You two had sooo much in common! >:]  AND My round-trip ride from Philly to NYC was less than $10! Holler!!  Check out Megabus for a similar service.  Anywho, NYC was nice.  Had dinner at Takahachi in Tribeca, then hung out at Emerald Pub.  Afterwards, Chenkay and I had a late-night conversation about a certain pillow and blanket…  >:]

While in NYC, I tested out HopStop.  It surprised me in the following ways: (a) It worked! (b) It was pretty clear and concise!  It reminded me that I left out something in my Don’t Text Me post.  That some texting services are actually very useful.  So that is one more point for texting.  But I still rather receive a text from a bot, than from any of you. :p  Which reminds me, thanks for the 5 billion texts you guys sent me the day I put up that post… You are all so hilarious…  Hmm… So I guess I will tell you my current favorites:

HopStop: Will send you directions via public transportation.  Currently only works for 8 major metropolitan areas, but they will be extending their network.  Philadelphia, Atlanta, and a few others coming soon!  Just text two addresses, separated by the word “to” (ie- 50 Wall St. to Penn Station) to HSTOP (47867).

Google Mobile: Text “Help” to GOOGLE (466453).  Google will then text you back, asking what you want.  To see the things which you can ask for, click here.  It is a pretty wide range.

ChaCha: Text ChaCha (242242) or call 1-800-2CHACHA and ask them pretty much anything!  Admittedly, I have not tried this one out myself yet, but I have heard good things.  You do need to sign up on the website before you can use this service though.

Jott: Jott does a lot.  Too much to paraphrase. I think that I have mentioned it before.  Go check it out. :]

Friday morning I read about the death of Randy Pausch, and I was literally in tears.  Crazy how you can feel so much for people whom you have never met.  I have mentioned him in my blog before and posted the links to his lectures.  Although, I am almost positive that hardly any of you took the time to see what this man was about, because your lives are all so very busy and eternally filled with crucial things to be done.  Well, he certainly inspired me, as well as millions of others.  My heart and prayers go out to his family and to all who knew him.  Especially to his wife and children, who had the rare gift of a truly wonderful husband and father.  May he always be with you.

Admittedly, I have not been following along this season. Maybe this means that I have been gaining a life. Probably not though. However, I did catch the finale last night, and I was pleasantly surprised. There have been a few “plus-sized” girls in previous seasons, but this is the first time one has won. Awesome. I think that she is beautiful. And I am not usually into blondes. Nor am I a lesbian. They really should call her “average (or real or normal, etc.)-sized” though (The girl is a Size 8. The average American woman wears a 12/14 for goodness’ sake…). Anyway, Congratulations Whitney!!

In the green hat.
In the green hat.

Front, Left.
Front Left.

Whitney

Speaking of incredibly gorgeous people, Dr. One and I were being mental hoes the other day, wondering whatever became of our former Kumon colleague Mr. Ari He-Is-So-Preposterously-Freakin-Fine-That-We-Forgot-His-Last-Name. He was a few years older than us, so he should be in his mid-twenties now. And he went to Rutgers. That is all we really have to go on. But if any of you know a ridiculously hot man named Ari, then that is probably him. Please let us know, so that we can turn our mental hoing into physical hoing. Thanks! Lastly, for all of you geniuses (no pun intended! hohoho! you should hit yourself if you understood this joke) buying into all of the MacBook Air hype, please click here to see what has had me laughing all week.

Some of you know about the great lengths which I have gone through in order to be misanthropic. Unfortunately for me, it seems that I am only slightly better at being a misanthrope than I am at lying. Despite this fact and all of the laughter at my attempts at the hermetic life (thanks for your encouragement), I still held on to my hope that practice would make perfect. And then I took this stewped test, and my illusion was shattered. Apparently, people are really awful at distinguishing a fake smile from a genuine one. I got 18 out of 20 of the smiles correct, whereas most of the test-takers get about half or less. How am I supposed to hate humankind, if I cannot even be relied upon to not be able to read/understand them????

Oh well. I can still laugh at all the young men out there who are contracting HPV-related oral diseases at an alarmingly increasing rate. Go ahead and tell me about how awful that statement was. I would have more empathy if it were not so ridiculously preventable. I mean… Honestly… Do boys not read? Never had a sex-ed class? Not know that 1 in 4 American girls has an STD (and 80% of women acquire HPV)? Do they think that just because a girl looks like either some model from an Abercrombie ad or like a girl that no man would ever touch, that she must be clean? Please. I am not saying that all you boys who venture down south deserve oral cancer. But if you believe that you can determine your chances of contracting something from a girl just by looking at her (or if the thought never even crosses your mind)… then you definitely have something coming. You have no idea how many perfectly nice-looking, intelligent (using this word only in the academic sense here) female residents I have had who came to me with a “problem.” I hardly believed it myself. 😐

Anywho, my point is that the next time you’re thinking about pleasuring your new lady… Take a moment. Eat a Snickers bar. Watch Hot Fuzz. Masturbate in a frenzy. Anything that will give you some time to think about which of the following is worse: (1) waiting awhile for your girl to get tested and/or get on top of those Gardasil vaccines… or (2) chemotherapy in your mouth. Yum! You decide. I hope some producer reads this and then begs me to do a Public Service Announcement on a major network channel.

I hope that I did not make too many people sad and/or ruin their weekend plans! 🙂 Umm… :::thinks of something happy to add::: Errmm… Marsupial?!

Be One Less 😉

I have found that, since the return of The Tudors, I have spent a lot less time searching for and watching quality porn. Thus, I have had more time to do things of greater degrees of productivity. This phenomenon also occurred back in the good old days when Rome was still on. America’s Best Dance Crew almost had a similar effect. Until Kaba Modern got kicked off before Status Quo (They don’t even have a website:|). That was messed up.

So what are these other things I have been up to? Um… Facebooking. Gardening. Washing my car. Practicing with my dance crew. Playing some Madden. Pumping iron at the gym. Deep conditioning my hair. You know. Things like that. I was also reminded numerous times of how unintelligent the college-educated can be. Starting with the day that I was talking to a PhD candidate and mispronounced microscopy several times. It came out as something along the lines of “mic-scrop-ery.” I would like to say that it was really early in the morning, but it was definitely about 11:00 AM at the time. 😐 I was really tired that day though. So :p!

I felt a little smarter, however, when I was in CVS and overheard a girl talking to her friend about how she hoped that her car would not be towed. Apparently she thought that because she drove a brand new BMW that her dad bought for her, and she had parked it “near” a legal parking space, it would obviously not be towed. And her friend “totally” agreed with her. I just laughed to myself as I imagined the fine employees of the Philadelphia Parking Authority driving away with it at that very moment. Schadenfreude >:]

But here was my favorite. On my way back home on the train:

Girl: So I went to vote before class today at that place near the temple. And there were these people handing out these little flyers, which gave “suggestions” as to who I should vote for!!

Boy: No way! Is that even legal?!

Girl: I don’t know! Ohmigod! I was so mad! As if I don’t have a mind of my own, you know???

Boy: Yah. So who did you vote for?

Girl: Like, ohmigod! That is the part that made me the maddest! Cuz I voted for the people on the flyer. Like, I did not mean to! But it was like a trick, because that flyer was all I could think about while I was voting, you know??

Boy: …

Me:

Thank God for smart high-schoolers from New Jersey and Dean Kamen. I kept walking around Drexel during the regional competition (I still have my FIRST-SME membership card. Jelly? :]), thinking that perhaps Dean would be around, and we would run into each other, and he would fall madly in love with me, give me a diamond-encrusted Segway, and then we’d go live happily ever after on his private island… It could happen :/ RPI’s Business School went from being ranked #40 to #26 this year :o. Gonna be giving Wharton a run for their “Tower of Greed” soon. >:] I like how they put a bunch of black people (and I know 2 of them) in the picture… the wonders of marketing. 😀