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And it’s Picnic Time at Eureka’s Castle! As swimsuit season approaches, I have been very busy. Stuffing my face. In short, with everything. :] While the rest of the country has been spending hours at the gym lifting weights and getting ready for Spring and whatnot, I have been spending time lifting brownies into my mouth.  And Chick-fil-A sandwiches. And meatballs (Hey, remember how they used to call Serena “Meatball Head?!”)

Anyway, so I started thinking about all of the food items which I have consumed (on my own and in their entirety) within a 12-hour period…  This includes: A box of Cheez-Its, A box of fruit snacks, A pack of Twizzlers Pull & Peel, A box of Wheat Thins, 12.4 lbs. of fufu, Various bags of assorted chips, Various boxes/packs of cookies, Half of a large pizza, Various boxes of assorted cereals, A loaf of bread, 5 packets of Burger peanuts, 1/2 lb. of bacon, A bag of Pirate’s booty, A box of Teddy Grahams, A box of Scooby Snacks, A bag of Gummy Bears, A bag of Gummy Worms, Assorted bags of Gummy Creatures… I am sure that I am missing a few hundred more… But you get the point. 🙂

One would probably assume that I weigh around 9,000 lbs.  One would then be quite astonished when one met me.  One could then attribute my svelteness to witchcraft.  I’m not really quite sure how to explain it myself.  Perhaps it is due to the copious amounts of green tea which I drink.  Or to some of my… hmm… extra-curricular activities… like… umm… karate… yah… 😉

Moving on.  Some of you may recall that I was on a quest last summer to bring back the Banana Clip.  Only, I could not find a store which carried Banana Clips, so it did not really work out.  I was still crawling around in a diaper, eating spiders in Ghana when the Banana Clip was in fashion, so I missed my chance.  You will be happy to know that I finally secured not 1, but THREE Banna Clips this weekend.  I suggests that you all go out and find some for yourselves before my quest to make them the IT item of the summer ensues.  You’re Welcome. Don’t be surprised if you see Blair Waldorf wearing one later this year.  All because of me.  🙂

Thank goodness for the WordPress IPT app.

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My favorite geneticist, Dr. James Watson, is back to his shenanigans.  I think that he should try out for the next season of The Real World.  You know, Dr. Watson, at first I thought that some of your tirades were actually entertaining… like when you suggested that there was some mysterious link between sexual urges and sunlight exposure, and then proceeded to claim that this was the cause for the existence of “Latin Lovers.”  I am pretty sure that these boys would disagree with you, but your claim still made me chuckle.  Yah, I said “chuckle.”  And then there was your proclamation about thin people being more ambitious than overweight people.  And then you had the nerve to make comments about the physical appearance of Dr. Rosalind Franklin… whom a) FYI, Looked better than you any day of the week and b) you more or less stole data from and claimed the Nobel Prize for the work which she predominantly did… hmm…  classy.

And when I thought that it was not possible to get anymore distasteful, you tell the world that black people are intellectually inferior to white people.  Blown.  Away.  I wish your better half, Dr. Crick (I think Dr. Wilkins was shady too >:[), were still alive to keep you in check.  Or at least to tell you when to keep silent.  And after all of this, you come back with your attention-seeking comments again???  This time slamming high school teachers???  We all know that the educational systems has its problems, but what was the last high school science class that you ever taught??

This dude got a Nobel Prize!!  A NOBEL PRIZE!  Is George Bush going to get one next? :/  This makes me so upset that I cannot even discuss it further.  On a happier note, congratulations to the winners of this year’s Intel STS (which SciAm is referring to as “The Baby Nobels,” which I think is cute!)!  A lot of those projects were really cool and advanced.  And thank you to all of the high school teachers out there doing great things and inspiring others to be great; like Nick Ehling and Nodar Jagodnishili, who led the Fels school to win the Pennsylvania chess title!  Susan Polgar even mentions it in her blog.  I am by no means anywhere close to being a serious chess player, but I have been amazed by the Polgar sisters since I was little and I think it is awesome that one of them would recognize the accomplishments of a small inner-city school in Philadelphia.

So, I pimped out my desktop.  And I am loving it so much that I just thought that I would share.  Notice the lack of stewpy taskbar.  And no, I did not just paste on some arbitrary static values; the date and weather fields are dynamic.  Hot. >:D Go be jelly, cuz your desktops are nowhere near as zen(ic?) as mine.  Losers. >:]

 

My Desktop Brings All the Zen to the Yard

My Desktop Brings All the Zen to the Yard

In honor of the impending witching season (and also of NaNoWriMo 08!), I bring to you a short story.  Although, my use of poetic license and of monikers may be liberal, the majority of the following narrative is still mostly somewhat true.  Or at least partially based on a true story.  Or truly based on a partial story.  Or something… The point is that it did actually kind of happen.  And in 3D.  Enjoy! 😀

One mild yet sunny day, not quite yet in the ides of autumn, a group of scientists were toiling away in their shady basement laboratory.  The lab was so vast, and buried so deep within the university, that soft and numerous drafts were experienced daily by its inhabitants.  It could have passed for a dungeon.  Perhaps it was one.

For weeks, these chemists, biologists, and clinicians had been slaving away.  Food. Water. Pooping. Sleep.  All of these things had become unnecessary.  Luxurious nothings from a former life.  Adaptation? Evolution?  Epigenetics?  Whatever the cause, there was no time to try to pull logic from rapidly fading memories.  From dreams.

8:00 PM.  The Deadline.  And quite literally so.  For in every pseudo-dungeon, there lies a pseudo-dragon.  Perhaps there are places on this earth, tangled within the superstring, where an exception exists and defies this rule.  However, the Cartesian coordinates for such a locale were clearly not the same as those for this one.

As the researchers scurried, much like their mice did in their cages down in the room below, to collect and collate their data, the Dragon skulked out of its opulent chambers and into the harsh sterile glare of the main room.  It sniffed visibly (as if someone had just put an open bottle of beta mercapatoethanol under its nose), thinking of how little the lighting up here did for its Prada clothing.  It’s gold jewelry.  It’s sizable cloud of self-importance.  It thought to itself (and then proceeded to share the thought aloud) that the lighting did almost as little as the peons running about it’s domain.

Accustomed to such helpful commentary, the peons continued with their work, not daring to meet the Dragon’s soulless gaze.  Rather, they kept their eyes on the clock. 4:13. 4:28.  The soft hum of machinery just barely masking the whispered prayers.  Fervent pleas to the gods of science and technology.  Pleas for good results.  Success.  Tenureship.  Escape.  One researcher looked up, perhaps to his deity.  Were those cobwebs he saw? Or just the workmanship of the spiders.  Haphazard algorithms?  Or very deliberate designs?  Like their data.  Like every action which they were performing now.  Working as one seasoned perpetual motion machine.  Dragon observed, offering little physical aid and even less moral support.

5:00 PM.  The final paper.  Compiled.  Reviewed.  Edited.  Corrected.  Consecrated and sent.  A communal sigh.

6:30 PM.  Response Received. “Manuscript Rejected…” Dragon reads aloud calmly, yet shaking with unimaginable fury.  Despite the tendrils of fire escaping its nostrils, the room temperature seems to have become sub-zero.  Everyone tries to play dead.  To make no sudden movements.  To make no movements at all.  But in a room frozen with fear, their warm breath is as visible as liquid nitrogen…

To Be Continued…

If we are still alive later this week… 😀

I had my first experience with Boltbus this weekend; we went up to NYC for a birthday party.  I was pretty impressed!  The buses were new, clean, quiet, and offered free wi-fi.  That last bit was essential, since about 80% of the passengers were college students and other 20-somethings with laptops and smartphones.  It was a pleasant ride and I even made a new friend!  Although, it was not quite as amusing as our Greyhound trip, Sheelu!! Hahaha!!  You so should have asked that girl for her number!  You two had sooo much in common! >:]  AND My round-trip ride from Philly to NYC was less than $10! Holler!!  Check out Megabus for a similar service.  Anywho, NYC was nice.  Had dinner at Takahachi in Tribeca, then hung out at Emerald Pub.  Afterwards, Chenkay and I had a late-night conversation about a certain pillow and blanket…  >:]

While in NYC, I tested out HopStop.  It surprised me in the following ways: (a) It worked! (b) It was pretty clear and concise!  It reminded me that I left out something in my Don’t Text Me post.  That some texting services are actually very useful.  So that is one more point for texting.  But I still rather receive a text from a bot, than from any of you. :p  Which reminds me, thanks for the 5 billion texts you guys sent me the day I put up that post… You are all so hilarious…  Hmm… So I guess I will tell you my current favorites:

HopStop: Will send you directions via public transportation.  Currently only works for 8 major metropolitan areas, but they will be extending their network.  Philadelphia, Atlanta, and a few others coming soon!  Just text two addresses, separated by the word “to” (ie- 50 Wall St. to Penn Station) to HSTOP (47867).

Google Mobile: Text “Help” to GOOGLE (466453).  Google will then text you back, asking what you want.  To see the things which you can ask for, click here.  It is a pretty wide range.

ChaCha: Text ChaCha (242242) or call 1-800-2CHACHA and ask them pretty much anything!  Admittedly, I have not tried this one out myself yet, but I have heard good things.  You do need to sign up on the website before you can use this service though.

Jott: Jott does a lot.  Too much to paraphrase. I think that I have mentioned it before.  Go check it out. :]

Friday morning I read about the death of Randy Pausch, and I was literally in tears.  Crazy how you can feel so much for people whom you have never met.  I have mentioned him in my blog before and posted the links to his lectures.  Although, I am almost positive that hardly any of you took the time to see what this man was about, because your lives are all so very busy and eternally filled with crucial things to be done.  Well, he certainly inspired me, as well as millions of others.  My heart and prayers go out to his family and to all who knew him.  Especially to his wife and children, who had the rare gift of a truly wonderful husband and father.  May he always be with you.

Many of you either used to text me regularly or still continue to text me regularly (You guys are the slow learners). Either way, you have probably received one or more of the following replies from me at one point or another:

*
*
* >:[
* >:O
* Why are you texting me?
* Stop texting me.

I think that the majority of you have probably received the first option (ie- no response). I think that the only question that I hear more often than “Why aren’t you on Facebook?” is “Why don’t you respond to my texts?!” May I present to you my dissertation.

Even though some of you are ugly, I prefer face-to-face conversation. If this is not a viable option, then there is this awesome thing called the phone. Before it ever sent texts, it made calls. Failing that, there are these other ingenious modes of communication known as email and instant messaging. I know that it may seem odd to some of you for me to be supporting such archaic technologies, seeing as how many of you consider me a bit of a nerd and technophile. However, if you think about what an INFJ I am, it makes more sense.

Relationship = Communication. Thus, I really rather not have any relationship based on “conversations” via text message nor Facebook wall. Have you noticed that the relationships that you have which are mostly comprised of such things are not exactly close/important relationships? I do understand the allure of the text though. It is convenient. You can let people know that you know that they are alive without putting much thought or effort into the action. Personally, I do not want any relationships based on convenience, nor relationships based on empty actions. In a world in which Miley Cyrus is considered an actress and singer, I appreciate substance.

I find that when people take the time to actually pick up the phone or send an email, they put a little more thought into the conversation. Whereas, when responding to a text, one’s attention is usually partially diverted by whatever one was in the midst of doing. Thus, one sends a quick response which lacks a certain amount of reflection. Of course, this may change. When IM first became popular, it was difficult for many to focus on both their IMs and whatever else they were doing on their computers. Now plenty of people are comfortable with multi-tasking with AIM, and many can continue delibrate conversations without skipping a beat. I think those people are in the minority though. I am not half-bad, but I still have friends who get understandably annoyed when I do too much AIM-juggling.

There are uses for such modes of communication which I think are fantastic though. In times when the communication is not about a relationship, but rather, about just getting things done. I think that those of you with Crackberries will understand this. You don’t necessarily want to have an actual conversation, with all the formalities and pleasantries expected when addressing your boss or colleagues. I think that those brief messages are perfect for such situations. Probably more efficient than a phone call, because you are saving time and getting straight to the point. Similarly, I can see this being of use personally when you just need some quick info from a friend (ie- if you forgot what time you were supposed to meet for dinner).

Other situations in which I find it appropriate to text: When you are actually in a place where making a call would be inappropriate and it is URGENT that you get info to someone. So this most likely does not apply to those of you sitting in geometry class and texting (Kwasifer…), because I doubt that whatever junk you are texting is so important that it can not wait until after class or school. Also, when you are in a place where texting is substantially cheaper/more feasible than making a phone call. This applies to all of my friends and family abroad. And lastly, when you just have nothing else to do. As in, you are not in a time nor place where you are supposed to be listening to a teacher and learning, nor doing work for someone who pays you. If you send me a Bored Text though, please make sure that it is partially amusing. You have more of a chance of obtaining a response that way. Or at least an appreciative laugh. I have totally sent Bored Texts before… while I was stuck in a waiting room… or waiting for my souffle to rise… or daydreaming about what I would do if I won the lottery… or when I just had to share a really awesome knock-knock joke…

Anywho, it certainly is not my place to tell you what to do with your ample amounts of free time… But maybe… just maybe… some time soon… You could pick up your expensive Texting Machine with Phone Capabilities… and, oh… I dunno… Call those people who you text and message all of the time. Maybe you can get even crazier and invite them out somewhere! It may seem unfamiliar and awkward at first… but who knows? Maybe you’ll find out that you like each other enough to promote your superficial relationship to a real one!! Stranger things have happened.

It is said that 55-70% of communication is non-verbal, with 7% being verbal and the rest relating to tone of voice. None of the above-mentioned technologies allow for the observation of body language. And goodness knows how many people emphasize their speech with hand gestures (Maybe I should give video chat a try?). And let’s not forget pheromones (I did my 8th grade science fair project on this)! The phone allows for observation in tonal fluctuations. But what about texts? These technologies are only tools. Like a calculator. Sure, it will give you a quick answer. Maybe even the correct one. But without more integral knowledge (obtained through the use of all the senses… well, perhaps not gustatory), a solid foundation will never be built.

Admittedly, I have not been following along this season. Maybe this means that I have been gaining a life. Probably not though. However, I did catch the finale last night, and I was pleasantly surprised. There have been a few “plus-sized” girls in previous seasons, but this is the first time one has won. Awesome. I think that she is beautiful. And I am not usually into blondes. Nor am I a lesbian. They really should call her “average (or real or normal, etc.)-sized” though (The girl is a Size 8. The average American woman wears a 12/14 for goodness’ sake…). Anyway, Congratulations Whitney!!

In the green hat.
In the green hat.

Front, Left.
Front Left.

Whitney

Speaking of incredibly gorgeous people, Dr. One and I were being mental hoes the other day, wondering whatever became of our former Kumon colleague Mr. Ari He-Is-So-Preposterously-Freakin-Fine-That-We-Forgot-His-Last-Name. He was a few years older than us, so he should be in his mid-twenties now. And he went to Rutgers. That is all we really have to go on. But if any of you know a ridiculously hot man named Ari, then that is probably him. Please let us know, so that we can turn our mental hoing into physical hoing. Thanks! Lastly, for all of you geniuses (no pun intended! hohoho! you should hit yourself if you understood this joke) buying into all of the MacBook Air hype, please click here to see what has had me laughing all week.

I have found that, since the return of The Tudors, I have spent a lot less time searching for and watching quality porn. Thus, I have had more time to do things of greater degrees of productivity. This phenomenon also occurred back in the good old days when Rome was still on. America’s Best Dance Crew almost had a similar effect. Until Kaba Modern got kicked off before Status Quo (They don’t even have a website:|). That was messed up.

So what are these other things I have been up to? Um… Facebooking. Gardening. Washing my car. Practicing with my dance crew. Playing some Madden. Pumping iron at the gym. Deep conditioning my hair. You know. Things like that. I was also reminded numerous times of how unintelligent the college-educated can be. Starting with the day that I was talking to a PhD candidate and mispronounced microscopy several times. It came out as something along the lines of “mic-scrop-ery.” I would like to say that it was really early in the morning, but it was definitely about 11:00 AM at the time. 😐 I was really tired that day though. So :p!

I felt a little smarter, however, when I was in CVS and overheard a girl talking to her friend about how she hoped that her car would not be towed. Apparently she thought that because she drove a brand new BMW that her dad bought for her, and she had parked it “near” a legal parking space, it would obviously not be towed. And her friend “totally” agreed with her. I just laughed to myself as I imagined the fine employees of the Philadelphia Parking Authority driving away with it at that very moment. Schadenfreude >:]

But here was my favorite. On my way back home on the train:

Girl: So I went to vote before class today at that place near the temple. And there were these people handing out these little flyers, which gave “suggestions” as to who I should vote for!!

Boy: No way! Is that even legal?!

Girl: I don’t know! Ohmigod! I was so mad! As if I don’t have a mind of my own, you know???

Boy: Yah. So who did you vote for?

Girl: Like, ohmigod! That is the part that made me the maddest! Cuz I voted for the people on the flyer. Like, I did not mean to! But it was like a trick, because that flyer was all I could think about while I was voting, you know??

Boy: …

Me:

Thank God for smart high-schoolers from New Jersey and Dean Kamen. I kept walking around Drexel during the regional competition (I still have my FIRST-SME membership card. Jelly? :]), thinking that perhaps Dean would be around, and we would run into each other, and he would fall madly in love with me, give me a diamond-encrusted Segway, and then we’d go live happily ever after on his private island… It could happen :/ RPI’s Business School went from being ranked #40 to #26 this year :o. Gonna be giving Wharton a run for their “Tower of Greed” soon. >:] I like how they put a bunch of black people (and I know 2 of them) in the picture… the wonders of marketing. 😀

It seems like every time Animal comes home, she busts things up. Usually by accident. Last time it was my bedroom door (plus frame… ask her about it one day). Prior to that, there were a number of glasses, drink containers, electronics, grass patches (Juju made her eat it), combs (from her nappy hair), and many other unfortunately inanimate objects. Anyhow, I thought that she was getting better.

Wow

But I was wrong. I really liked that plate too. She had just put a hot dog on it, and the next thing I knew that plate was crashing to the floor and she had ketchup on her shirt. Let’s hope that she does not become a surgeon. 😐 Animal and Juju have been home for Spring Break. We spent half of it playing Rock Band. I think this game is unique in that, despite being more racist than a 1970’s country club, it is a lot of fun! :] I knew about 1.5 of the songs on there and about 2.5 artists. Couldn’t they have thrown in some music to give black people a chance?? I mean, honestly. Perhaps one of these songs (I only know #3)? Maybe some Lenny Kravitz? They better come out with an “urban” version soon. >:| Anywho, we spent the other half playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I killed them all. With Kirby. :]

A few days ago, Animal and I were in a group of 5 on a not-so-epic quest,when Animal says, “Are you going grocery shopping soon?? I am hungry.” …So many things wrong with that. How taboo. She did not even have the decency to whisper it. So OOC. Way to kill the MMORPG experience. >:| And the last time I checked, she had appendages and a driver’s license of her own. >:/ Then again, Kwasifer came home from a soccer game with a busted, bleeding leg earlier this week, and I was fixing it. This girl was watching me intently, because she is easily fascinated. After a bit of silence, she says, “Oooh! Did you get your nails done?!” Uncouth.

Why all the Animal stories today? Probably because of some other issue pertaining to her, which I cannot even bring myself to write about. >:| Just thinking about it makes me want to change the subject. I got my hair did the other week! This was the first time that I had been in a hair salon in SIX YEARS. Yep. I have not had my hair done since my senior prom, when I was 17. No joke. PS took me as a thank you for throwing the baby shower. THIS is why I’m HOT. >:] And Happy Belated Pi Day. :]

So I totally should be writing right now, but there is a Firefly marathon on. How am I supposed to create brilliance with such a worthy distraction about? Yah. And it’s a holiday or something (For those of you who still have work today, perhaps you would like to put in a nomination for the Worst Company in America.)! Thus, in lieu of any serious work, I bring you this post.

First, I would like to say thank you to all y’all who sent my V-day cards/gifts! I think my Auntie Vanessa wins for best card. Maybe I will scan it during a commercial break. Maybe not, because this requires effort. To Animal, who sent me the Capezio leotard which I wanted… and to the boy toy who sent me the… garment… Both are a little tight in the chest region… I have a feeling that one of these was on purpose… I would post pictures of myself wearing them, but then I would have to make this a pay site.

The responses to the following article on Digg had me cracking up like an idiot. It also made me grateful that I am too poor (and mature >:]) to still be playing WoW. Although, I was one of the best priestesses on my server… and I am kind of sad that I never got a mount… and I do kind of miss those epic raids…

Digg-WoW

Hahahahahahahahah! Oh, come on. The comment is funny! Fine. Be that way. Hater. Hey Jackie, when you start law school, you should see if you can specialize in game-induced divorces. You will be a billionaire. And then you can give me 10% of your billions, since I gave you the idea.

Anywho, something else that amused me… Stuff White People Like. This site literally brought tears to my eyes, because it made me laugh so much. Such a high level of accuracy! Even with the random Peace Corps-esque picture on the About page! Ingenious! Who made this site? I want to propose to you! Can you make one for brown people too??

Speaking of white people, I am soooooooo in love with one right now. Henry. Yep. THAT Henry. From Ugly Betty. Love that show. 😀 If you haven’t seen it yet, you really need to. Really. And I am not a big tv person. Anyway, back to Henry. I would hit that any day. In or out-of character. I know you probably did not click on the deluge of Henry links, but you must check out this photo. Maybe then you will understand :]

Henry: L’amanda, you and I are like water and magnesium.

L’amanda: ………

Henry: Explosive! (Hahahaha! Kwasi was mad that I understood this.)

L’amanda: Sugar! Where’ve you been all my life??

Henry: Math camp?

Now, before one of you brings up the whole “Umm… you went to computer camp thing!”… let me clarify. First of all, it was not math camp. Secondly, I did not ATTEND computer camp. I WORKED there. And it was awesome so :p. Anywho, mad props to Henry/Chris. Apparently, he has a huge female fanbase. I would propose to him also, but he is married (to a Latina! Nice!). Maybe he has a brother?