You know how every family is supposed to have that one crazy uncle?  Our family is so large and strange that I always found it difficult to pinpoint this individual.  However, we were reintroduced to Uncle “Big Ben” today for the first time in a little over a decade, and I immediately knew that he was THE ONE.  It would take me much to long to recount our entire encounter, so here is a snippit for you:

Uncle Ben: You are the Major’s son?
Juju: Yes. Who are you?
Uncle Ben: Uncle Ben! Like Big Ben! Uncle Big Ben!
Juju: Uncle… Big Ben…? 
Uncle Big Ben: Yes, You should join the service in Ghana!
Juju: I already did.
Uncle Big Ben: You did?! It is good.  This is why you should not drink.
Juju: Oh… I don’t drink…
Uncle Big Ben: Do you drink?!
Juju: No…?
Uncle Big Ben: Good!  I drink!  It is not good! That is why you should not drink.
All of us:    :| 

It is very difficult to convey the ridiculousness of the situation.  I wish we had videotaped the day, because we would have received a few million hits on YouTube.  Basically, this strange man… who showed up to the funeral in a grey hoodie… would randomly pop in and ask us random questions and dole out various nuggets of wisdom.  And he would yell practically every word in a garbled mess of English and Twi.  It was really disconcerting the first few times.  And then it just became funny.  At least until Juju’s other friend drank his orange soda and then spilled someone else’s drink on the carpet.

Someone please tell me why we were at dinner on Friday night (one of our centennial family restaurant trips) and my brothers (this includes you, Emmanuel) and Father proceeded to get into a 30 minute debate about “crab fries.”  Crab fries?!  CRAB FRIES??!!  I did not even know that such a thing as Crab Fries existed until my Dad ordered them; and upon the arrival of said appetizer, he began to lament about how they were not made out of crabs.  My brother refuted this point with some semi-illogical bit of logic, and thus ensued the longest conversation about crab fries which I have ever heard.

I think the most amusing thing I heard of late, however, was during one of my final MARC train commutes.  Those of you who have not heard yet, my former MARC train crew has endearingly come to be known as “The Thug Train,” by the conductors and staff at Union Station.  Perhaps, if their trains were consistently on-time and non-trifling, then we would not have earned this moniker.  Anywho, one of the amusing parts of the commuter experience is observing/pointing/laughing at the newbies.  Well, on this fine Friday, one of the conductors decided to give the bewildered newbies (and in all honesty, there is such chaos when boarding the rush hour trains that sometimes I am still bewildered even though I am no longer a novice) a verbal heads-up.  As all of the regulars stampeded (mob-style) up the boarding platform, his words of guidance were as follows:

Random Conductor on Platform: Hello Everyone! This is the Thug Train to BWI!  For those of you who are new to our fine system of public transport, BE CAREFUL! This is the THUG TRAIN!  They will elbow you in the head and push you over the rail in order to get a seat on this train!  I know!  Because they have done it to me before… And I was not even trying to get on the train…  Okay!  Thank You!

I was dying!  It made my day.  He was not even trying to be funny.

CRAB FRIES!