The last few nights have been horribly restless… Thanks to a certain bedmate. >:| Ordinarily, the sleepless nights which result from sharing my bed with someone are incredibly gratifying experiences. However, this has never been the case when the bedmate in question has been Animal. To give you an idea of how talented she is at sleeping, let me relay an anecdote to you.

Many moons ago, Animal and I shared a black metal Ikea bunk bed. She used to sleep on the top. The top bunk had a series of rather high guard rails, perhaps a foot or so (something like this). One night, a terrible crash woke me up. After glancing around the room and seeing nothing unusual, I deduced that the noise had come from outside. The next morning, I got up and peeked at the top bunk to see if Animal was still asleep. She was gone. This was odd, because I usually wake up eons before her (and most other people). I went downstairs. Still no Animal. Later that morning, I returned to our room in search of a lost book. Imagine my surprise when I peered underneath the bed to find, not my book, but my sister… This girl had rolled over the guard rail… fallen on the floor… been completely unperturbed… and then rolled underneath the bed and continued to sleep…

Due to some interesting circumstances, Animal and I found ourselves as roomies again for the weekend. Just thinking about it makes me tired (You did no help either, Ju!). My door frame is still broken from her last encounter with my domain. This time she also broke my glasses and managed to toss and turn to such a degree that my sheets are now half off the bed. She also hit me in the face several times. I am pretty sure that, had we been a married couple, I could have had her arrested for assault. After all of that, she was still talking about how we should move in together (and how she should not have to pay any rent). Black. At least she is still thoughtful enough to “cuh-caw” at me.

Speaking of black people, I owe an apology to a really cute white guy with Pennsylvania license plates. He just happened to be next to me at a red light on Friday at the 70 & 73 intersection in Marlton. I had just had a furniture-buying misadventure, and then some PI cut me off on 73, and some other stuff. So we’re at the light and I had the windows down. Evidently, so did the dude next to me… but I did not realize that at the time. It had just been a really long day… and then the radio thing… And I freaked out and yelled (I yell really loud), “WHITE PEOPLE!!!!” out of nowhere. I saw that poor boy jump out of his skin via my peripheral vision. If you, by some odd chance, happen to be reading this, I am so sorry for needlessly scaring the cr@p out of you and generalizing your people. Well, partially sorry for the generalization anyhow. And I think you are WAY cute! Email me. ;D  Oh! And John from Target… I’ll totally be back Friday night… ;D  Or beforehand if you call me… ;D  Holler.